Life

Mood of the Month | #CallMeCaitlyn

#callmecaitlyn

“If I was lying on my deathbed and I had kept this secret and never ever did anything about it, I would be lying there saying, ‘You just blew your entire life. You never dealt with yourself,’ and I don’t want that to happen.” – Caitlyn Jenner Vanity Fair

 I have never been anything but a cisgendered, heterosexual woman. There is nothing about me that could begin to understand the lifetime that Caitlyn Jenner endured, feeling wrong or bad because her outside didn’t match her inside. What I do understand, is the deep longing to live a truly authentic life without apology or regret, which is why I am humbled and inspired into action by her story.

My life for the past year or so has been blown way off track, to the point where I wake up every morning feeling as though I am holding someone else’s life hostage. The job I go to that is unfulfilling, uninspiring, unbearable, and has me underpaid, is not mine. The apartment I share with my brother, in a neighborhood that I’m so-so about, isn’t where I want to be. Oh, and I’m single with no kids when everyone my age in a 50 mile radius has three kids. (That last one doesn’t bother me that much because I’ll have kids eventually, but I threw it in for dramatic effect.)

The point is, I’m 30 not 80, and I have a whole lot of life left to live and I don’t want to spend it living someone else’s life.

* For the record, that means I am quitting my job, moving across the country, and running in the direction of my dream of working with brands I am batshit crazy about, having dinner parties on Saturday night in my gorgeous apartment, looking at my closet full of Equipment blouses and BB pumps, and reading books in the bathtub with my hot, British husband. I may be a bit flexible on some of these.

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4 Comments

  • Reply
    Lisa
    June 2, 2015 at 12:13 pm

    Once the decision is made in your head, it is just a matter of time to put the wheels in motion. You’ll be great wherever and whatever you do. xx

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      June 3, 2015 at 1:32 am

      Thanks lady! The past few weeks have been a doozie and the next 6 months will be 10x more exciting and incredible than I ever could’ve imagined. It all starts with one step.

  • Reply
    Eni
    June 4, 2015 at 6:29 pm

    I agree with Lisa. Wanting to change is important. Start is the first step. Good luck, my dear.
    Have a nice day, kisses,
    Eni

    Eniwhere Fashion
    Eniwhere Fashion Facebook

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