Saturday was my 33rd birthday. (Bet you can’t tell from looking at me. #blackdontcrack) To celebrate, I pulled together 3 life lessons I learned in the past 365 days. Originally, I wanted this to be a list of 33 life lessons but really, that’s not my ministry and you don’t have the time. Hopefully, these three lessons are as impactful as the 33 I would have struggled to make up.
Mind your tribe.
You must be hyper vigilant about who you let into your circle. The people you are around the most can either fed or starve you energetically. Friends who are not supportive, are not friends. People who take more than they give, are not friends. If your circle is starving you, time to find a new circle. In addition to killing or nurturing your vibe, your friends serve as mirrors for where you are in life.
I have learned some of my greatest lessons by listening to the advice I give my friends. Because your vibe attracts your tribe, you are often subconsciously drawn to people who are going through or have gone through similar struggles. That’s probably why I give real AF advice to my younger friends and have major ah-ha moments when talking to my older friends. Saturday night I had my biggest breakthrough when I told one of my girls to watch her limiting self-talk. A moment before I said that to her, I was thinking how awful dating in Atlanta is. The minute I told her to stop, I checked us both. Take a minute and listen next time you give your girl a bit of real talk, you just may be teaching yourself something new.
All work & no play.
Life is way too short to not take time to enjoy it. Last week, I realized, I am not enjoying it.
After handing in my two-week notice at my job, I was told to take one week as paid vacation. This was the first time since spring break 2006 that my to-do list was empty. Instead of relaxing into my birthday week, I freaked the fuck out. I realized I had no idea who I am outside of my job title, my connections, and even my blog. I do not have a life. I’m always too tired, too busy, or too sick to enjoy anything. My life is literally work, blogging, binge watching and sleeping. I need to do better. I will do better. For my sanity and the culture.
Social media is the worst.
Remember how I told you social media is killing your vibe? It kills mine daily. I go from 0 to Dracarys real quick when reading the comments on Facebook. I also suspect it’s part of the reason why I don’t do as much in real life anymore. I’m too busy liking photos, commenting on statuses, and trying to ignore a creeping sense of existential dread I’ve been dealing with since November 8th, to live real life. Since social media is harshing my mellow and disconnecting me from reality, I’m giving it up. Yes, I’ll still have a social media presence but I’m dialing it back 50 feet to a manageable level. How? I’ll tell you in October.
Photo: Miles Aldridge