Dating is the worse. I know I shouldn’t say that but it’s low key/high key true. The dating scene is full of landmines, pitfalls, dead ends, and fuckbois. Thankfully, I know a guide to get you through.
Dating expert Ashleigh Guice is the millennial Carrie Bradshaw. That is if Carrie Bradshaw wasn’t afraid to call out Mr. Big on being a first-rate fuckboi. On her blog, Single Woman Chronicles, Ashleigh gives the tough love you need to get your dating life gathered. She covers everything from the crazies you met online to learning when to walk away, and signs that he just might be the one. The best part is, she’s a straight talker, writing from her own experiences and she’s never short on lols.
Ashleigh also published her first book earlier this year, “How to X Your Ex”. It gives you all the goods on how to let go of your past so you can move into your future without LV trunks full of emotional baggage.
Check out my interview with Ashleigh below.
Name: Ashleigh Guice
Hometown: Jackson, Ms.
Where you are now: Atlanta, Ga. Moved here when I was 14, I am now 27.
Turn-ons: Sense of humor, nice smells, great conversation, openness, honesty, nice smiles (dimples preferably), home training, chivalry, ambition, independence.
Turn-offs: Bad breath, arrogance, lazy people, complacency, narrow-mindedness, lack of urgency (I’m really impatient so I hate when people move slowly.)
What woman, besides your mom or grandma, has inspired you the most?
I would say my big cousin Nita. She had a child at 15 but didn’t let that stop her from becoming successful. She completed college and now has a master’s degree along with a very successful career in education. She inspires me not only because I saw how she didn’t let obstacles get in her way, but also because she believed in me before anyone. Growing up, I was always creative so I knew I wouldn’t have a 9-5 career. She always pushed me to do what made me happy instead of telling me to conform to societal norms like everyone else. She was in my corner rooting for me and she inspired me to always be me.
How did you get your start?
It is so funny how God works. I always loved self-expression. In elementary and middle school I pursued art. In high school and college, I pursued dancing and modeling. I loved expressing myself through the arts but I couldn’t figure out what fit me best. I was good at all the things I pursued but I wasn’t great.
It wasn’t until I was 24 that I found my calling. I went through a breakup and I was super hurt. I had gone through several breakups and I felt I was pretty good at getting over guys so I decided to write down my journey. It was really soothing. I decided I would turn it into a book but I felt I needed a foundation first so I started blogging. I began with a free blog to see how people would respond and got a lot of good feedback. This led me to create Single Woman Chronicles. I picked that name because it summed up my dating life. I was always the single friend and most my relationships didn’t seem to work. I knew other women felt the same, so I just wrote from my heart.
I now know God put me through all of those dating horror stories so I would have a story to tell.
Why dating advice?
This is my area of expertise because I have dated A LOT. I have gone out with different types of guys and I have experienced some crazy situations. I use my past to help women not have to go through what I have gone through.
What is your biggest challenge as a blogger and writer?
The biggest challenge is staying encouraged. Making a career out of writing is hard because there is so much competition and trying to stand out can be a pain. There will be times when you write and you know that your material is good but you may not get as many views or likes. Those times are discouraging and you may feel like just giving up because you begin to question if you’re good enough. I try to fight those negative thoughts every chance I get because I know this is what I was called to do and I must stay encouraged at all times.
What is the one thing you dislike the most about what you do?
The lack of understanding from people I care about. Because this field has no map to success, I just have to learn what to do by trial and error. It gets hard to vent to people sometimes because they just don’t get it. They either don’t take what you do seriously because they feel you can’t make a living off of it or they don’t understand how much work it takes to be a writer. This again is discouraging but you just have to believe in yourself more than anyone else.
Tell us about the worst dating experience you’ve had so far.
My worst dating experience was a couple of years ago when I dated a person I now think is a sociopath. We dated for about eight months and he lied to me about his entire life. I really don’t think he ever told me the truth but I didn’t find out until the end. I loaned him $500 and had to garnish his wages to get it back. I never thought I would have to go that far to get money back from someone. This man went so far that he lied and told me he got robbed and his mom died just to avoid paying me back. I did NOT see that coming at all but that’s what happens when you ignore signs. Pay attention to signs in the beginning people. There are ALWAYS signs.
What advice do you have for ladies trying to self-publish?
Have a marketing plan and don’t quit. Self-publishing is tough because you have to do everything alone and once you publish your book you have to figure out how to sell it. You can never stop trying so be ready with a plan and work that plan until you get it right.
What is the most inspiring statement you’ve heard or said?
One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.”
When you have a calling like writing you must stay in faith because it is a tough journey so this scripture keeps me going.
What is the worst piece of dating advice you’ve ever heard?
“The best way to get over someone is to get under someone new.” I hate this advice with a passion because you don’t get over anyone by dating someone new. You’re just adding an extra person to get over once this situation doesn’t work out. Breakups give you time to learn from your mistakes and properly heal so you don’t make that mistake again. You can’t learn if you hop from person to person. That’s why people keep going through the same thing over and over and wonder why they can’t stop the cycle.
Where can we keep up with you?
You can visit the website SingleWomanChronicles.com SingleWomanChronicles.com. I am on Facebook, Instagram, and TwitterTwitter. Get the book “How to X Your Ex” today on Amazon or by visiting the website.