What would your life look like if it were intentionally curated? For the past week, I’ve carried that question with me. But what does living an intentionally curates life mean? Is it throwing a filter on your day to day making it perfect for The Gram? Is it distilling your style down to a capsule wardrobe? Or is it some bullshit I latched onto because I’m bored? What if it’s all that and then some?
For me, living an intentionally curated life means marrying the person you are now with the person you want to be. It’s making space to cultivate the friends, the hobby, the career, the emotional strength, to be the woman you want to be. Growing up I assumed life made you that person all on its own. It does, and it doesn’t. Life gives you the opportunities to learn and grow but it’s our choices, Harry, that make us. Those choices take a level of intention.
If we are keeping it 100, I have not been operating with intention. I have been letting life happen to me for quite a while. Luckily, life loves me and things have been great. You know, aside from my existential dread popping up at the most inopportune times. Some of that is due to my anxiety, a large portion of that is due to me not taking enough action to make my life my own. I’ve tossed away dreams because they seemed out of reach. I accepted what was given instead of fighting for what I desired. I tried out more looks than Madonna leaving my closet a mess of mismatched personalities. Don’t get me wrong, I’m type A for overachiever but at some point I let the world disconnect me from me. I love me so I need to bring her back to center.
So how am I going to reconnect me with me while simultaneously becoming the me I want to be in my 30s? Girl, issa process.
I am about to KonMari the hell out of my life. Not just my home and wardrobe, my digital files, relationships, career, hobbies, and all that jazz will be subjected to the method. The goal is to only keep what grows, nurtures, inspires, or entertains me.
I found a great therapist and we are going to work through some shit. Fun fact, the best time to dig deep in therapy is when you feel good. When you are in crisis, the goal is to stop whatever is causing it and to get you back to normal.
Lately, “me time” consists of me parking on the couch, Netflix and chilling so hard I have run out of things I want to watch. Until I hit my late 20s I read that much. I stayed up all night finishing Angels & Demons with my roommate in college, spent all Summer ‘07 devouring the Harry Potter series from back to front, and read Zadie Smith on my lunch breaks in the mall. Let’s not even get started on the DIY projects I don’t do myself anymore. Why? It’s easy as hell to watch TV or browse social media instead of nurturing your passions. I am too good for that.
I spent a large chunk of my 20s at bars, clubs, networking events, fashion shows, you name it. The Samantha in me would make sure I was on the guest list for the opening of a door and the Carrie in me made sure I looked good and a little bit over the top. While nothing in me wants to go to EVERYTHING, a part of me is missing the martini circuit. This is the part where I dust off my heels, pull together a cute alphet and work on my alcohol tolerance. Again, everything is being done with intention. No more vapid, shallow events or conversations that leave me exhausted and hating people. That can stay in 2010.
I’ll be keeping you guys up to date on this process via my IG stories, and here of course. Next month I’ll tell you how decluttering goes and what kind of space I am able to create physically, mentally, and emotionally.
What would your life look like if it were intentionally curated?
*Ana B comes from Anastasia Beaverhausen. “Anastasia, like Russian royalty. Beaverhausen, like where the beaver lives.” Anastasia Beaverhausen, was the standard reaction to my name from 2007 – 2012 when I began my exit from the scene. If you don’t know what show that comes from you are not my friend.
Photos: Jordan Taylor Photo