Why You Never Get What You Want

how to get what you want

Let’s face it, we are all pining for something. Whether it’s a new job, new business or new boo, we all have some desire we are dying to fulfill. For some people, those desires manifest one after the other. They are out here thriving and we’re lost in the sauce wondering how Sway. No, these people aren’t more deserving or hardworking, they’ve just mastered a major key getting what they want.

The real reason why you never get what you want is simple. It is so simple in fact, that you may be overlooking it. You are so busy hustling and grinding to get what you want that you forgot to ask. Yes, you read that right. The major key to getting everything you want is ASKING FOR IT.  Squeaky wheels get oil and open mouths get fed but you are hoping for a raise you didn’t ask for. Does that make any sense? Of course not.

This is the point in the story where you say, “But I do ask for what I want.” My response to that is, do you really? Do you have clarity on what you want? Have you thought about why you want this particular thing or outcome? Did you ask for help? Did you clearly ask for what you want? Think about it.

In the past two years, I have busted my ass at work to prove my worth to my company. I came in early, went above and beyond on every task, and stressed myself out to no end. When the time came to talk raises in January, I was left out. I went straight Veruca Salt trying to get her golden egg. Once I calmed down, I spoke with my supervisor and eventually got a raise. A few months later was offered another raise and a promotion. Looking back on it, I should have played the entire situation differently.

First, I should have gotten clear about why I needed a raise in the first place. Money in and of itself is not an end. Money is a means for achieving an end. In my case, my salary was tied to me finally learning to no longer accept less than what I am worth. Second, I would have simply sat down with my boss and asked for what I needed. Had I done that, I’m sure I would have gotten the pay and title I deserve without having to take the long way around.

Whether you need a raise or a date for tomorrow night, learn from my example. Figure out exactly what you want and why. Then get up and ask for it. The worst thing that can happen is you’re told no. And sometimes, no is exactly what you need to hear in that moment.

Photo: Aspen Cierra Photography 

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