Adulthood is treacherous. Meaningful relationships are hard to come by and harder to maintain. Bills always need paying. Shit will hit the fan when you least expect it. There will be times when all you want is your mommy but you’re 32 and she can’t help you. That’s why a major part of adulting is mastering the bounce back.
Notice I said bounce back not snap back. Bouncing back from adversity is a must. Snapping back to your pre-baby body in 3 weeks is for Kardashians and teenagers. But I digress.
Life does not discriminate when it comes time to hand out lemons. Everyone gets their fair share of heartbreak, disappointment, and struggle. No one is exempt. Even celebrities and the people you consider happy and blessed have low moments. The difference between happy people and people who get stuck in the mire is the ability to bounce back. I’m saying this as a comeback queen who has been there, survived the breakups and designed the life to prove it.
To get your bounce back game in order, here are 5 steps you can take today to get to work on your next big comeback.
1. Take your time to work through your feelings. Breakups suck, so does losing a job or a friend. Pretending it doesn’t suck isn’t helping you. Acknowledging your feelings is the first step to working through them. So don’t let anyone tell you to “get over it.” People like that are the worst. You don’t need them.
2. Forgive yourself and the other person. Forgiveness is about letting yourself off the hook, nothing more, nothing less. Holding on to a grudge against your ex, your old boss, and yourself is keeping you stuck and hurt. Let it go, mama. It’s not serving you.
3. Get moving. While I’m not an advocate of a “revenge body”, I am a fan of the power of working out. To quote Elle Woods, “Exercise give you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.” Get up and get moving. Working out also helps manage anxiety and depression, at least for me.
4. Focus on your focus. I’m not saying bury yourself in work but the best way to come back from a setback is to get focused. Focus on your career, your hobbies, and your relationships. Take the time to get reacquainted with you and what makes you light up.
5. Be easy mama! I am the queen of being hard on myself when things go left. It is always my fault, something I said, or something I could have done even if it’s not. Beating yourself up when you don’t move on quick enough or get the revenge body or find the perfect new job, adds unnecessary stress to your life. If you wouldn’t treat your best friend that way, why are you treating yourself like that? Learn to love and accept all of you all of the time, that’s the real key to living a revenge life and keeping your bounce back game strong.
Photo: Jordan Taylor Photo