Health,Live

#MonthlyMotivation Comparison is Ruining Your Vibe

comparison

We have all been there. You wake up, ready to slay, then you hop on social media. After a few minutes of viewing killer travel posts, new Celine bags and wedding announcements, your tea’s gone cold and you feel drained. How, Sway? Comparison has killed your vibe.

Blogs, Instagram, Facebook, and the like have made it easier than ever to compare our lives. With one click, you can see how you stack up against friends, celebrities, and some girl you knew in kindergarten. An hour later, you feel like a hopeless failure. If you think I’m being hyperbolic, I’m not.

I spent most of my twenties on the hamster wheel of constant comparison. In hindsight, my life at 25 we pretty lit. I was the assistant visual merchandiser at French Connection. I contributed to several blogs and online mags while running my own site, and I was in a solid relationship. My friends all thought my life was bomb. But did I care? Hell nah. I was tossing and turning at night because my parents still had to help me with rent, my boyfriend hadn’t proposed, and I was still driving my college car. (Nevermind that the car was paid for.) Every night, I scrolled through Facebook comparing myself  to girls getting dream jobs, finishing med school, getting engaged, and living the life I wanted. Even if they weren’t as happy IRL as they seemed, I kept screaming “why did they deserve nice things and I didn’t?”

The way life is set up, there will always be someone two steps ahead of you. Yes, even if you’re Beyoncé. It does not mean you should be defining your life by how you stack up against them. Actually, that is the single worst thing you can do. Tying your self-worth to anything outside of you will get you fucked up time and time again. Likes, followers, comments, job titles, and relationships are too fluid to build your self-esteem on. And trying to keep up with the Kardashians is a fool’s errand that will leave you depressed, anxious, and broke.

I’d be lying if I said, the minute I realized the above my need to compare dissolved. It didn’t. I still get a bit down when I see a new baby or job announcement on my feed, I just don’t get hooked into that. Neither should you. We are both too awesome to worry about who has what, when. So close the laptop and get busy protecting your litness.

comparison

Photo: Refinery 29

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14 Comments

  • Reply
    Jasmin N
    January 4, 2017 at 9:26 am

    This was so well written! I’ve never really compared me to others, don’t know why though – it hasn’t felt like my thing to do. I’ve been just rolling around with doing my own thing haha.

    ♥ Jasmin N
    Little Things With Jassy
    Bloglovin’

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 4, 2017 at 12:27 pm

      Thanks love! Sounds like you are doing things right, focusing on yourself instead of everyone else.

  • Reply
    Kintan
    January 4, 2017 at 1:09 pm

    What a amazing post. Actually I also the person that really don’t like to compared with others. Always try to be grateful what I have and busy with my own life.
    Wish you a Happy New Year and all the best dear.

    Kintan XO,
    http://kintanfashion.blogspot.com

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 4, 2017 at 7:58 pm

      Kintan, that’s the key. So many of us forget to stay grateful for the little things.

  • Reply
    Nora
    January 4, 2017 at 4:24 pm

    I feel you girl! Even if you have super nice and shiny life there’s always someone whose life is something more fabulous – and of course when you open your Instagram it’s full of millionaire class styles, fancy clothes and vacation pictures in which the sun always shines (or sets and makes a stunning view). Watching those makes it too easy to forgot what you got and to not to be grateful. This post was a great reminder about that.

    Best,
    Nora / http://dreamerachiever.com

  • Reply
    Katrina
    January 4, 2017 at 9:52 pm

    Hi Anastasia! I have definitely been guilty of comparing myself to other b used on Social Media way too much especially as a lifestyle blogger. Once I learned to value myself more, I realized that other people’s successes should inspire me, not bring me down

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 7, 2017 at 10:00 pm

      Exactly Katrina! Other people’s success should inspire you not send you into a tailsping where you feel awful bc you aren’t there yet.

  • Reply
    verushka
    January 5, 2017 at 9:31 am

    Such a fantastic and thought provoking read.YES switch off from the digital world and live.

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 7, 2017 at 10:00 pm

      Thanks! We all have to get off the internet and live real life to stay connected to what really matters.

  • Reply
    Ruxandra
    January 5, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    girl you are so right! we always have to take a step back and see our lives as a whole. In my case, I keep seeing photos of people travelling all the time to distant lands and that realy brings me down 🙁 need to work on that

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 7, 2017 at 10:03 pm

      The big thing is to acknowledge that we all get to where we need to be when we need to. Keep focusing on living your best life and the trips will happen.

  • Reply
    Chris
    January 6, 2017 at 4:22 am

    It is not bad to want things. The problem starts when you feel disappointed when you don’t acquire them at all or along a timeframe you had in mind. There desire becomes a trouble for your mind.

    • mm
      Reply
      Anastasia Nicole
      January 7, 2017 at 10:05 pm

      I agree, wanting things is perfectly normal. Driving yourself insane because you don’t have what someone else has when they have it, is not fine. You have to get clear about why you want the things you want and know that things happen when they are supposed to not just because you want them to.

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