We have all been there. You wake up, ready to slay, then you hop on social media. After a few minutes of viewing killer travel posts, new Celine bags and wedding announcements, your tea’s gone cold and you feel drained. How, Sway? Comparison has killed your vibe.
Blogs, Instagram, Facebook, and the like have made it easier than ever to compare our lives. With one click, you can see how you stack up against friends, celebrities, and some girl you knew in kindergarten. An hour later, you feel like a hopeless failure. If you think I’m being hyperbolic, I’m not.
I spent most of my twenties on the hamster wheel of constant comparison. In hindsight, my life at 25 we pretty lit. I was the assistant visual merchandiser at French Connection. I contributed to several blogs and online mags while running my own site, and I was in a solid relationship. My friends all thought my life was bomb. But did I care? Hell nah. I was tossing and turning at night because my parents still had to help me with rent, my boyfriend hadn’t proposed, and I was still driving my college car. (Nevermind that the car was paid for.) Every night, I scrolled through Facebook comparing myself to girls getting dream jobs, finishing med school, getting engaged, and living the life I wanted. Even if they weren’t as happy IRL as they seemed, I kept screaming “why did they deserve nice things and I didn’t?”
The way life is set up, there will always be someone two steps ahead of you. Yes, even if you’re Beyoncé. It does not mean you should be defining your life by how you stack up against them. Actually, that is the single worst thing you can do. Tying your self-worth to anything outside of you will get you fucked up time and time again. Likes, followers, comments, job titles, and relationships are too fluid to build your self-esteem on. And trying to keep up with the Kardashians is a fool’s errand that will leave you depressed, anxious, and broke.
I’d be lying if I said, the minute I realized the above my need to compare dissolved. It didn’t. I still get a bit down when I see a new baby or job announcement on my feed, I just don’t get hooked into that. Neither should you. We are both too awesome to worry about who has what, when. So close the laptop and get busy protecting your litness.
Photo: Refinery 29